WHY WHY WHY did spandex come back in ’style’?

July 17, 2006

Now I’m not one to throw stones when it comes to gals that are packing extra poundage around on them, I mean HELLO! But for the LOVE OF GOD can larger women PLEASE stop wearing spandex pants? Especially WHITE spandex pants?!?!?!

To the female that was standing in the line next to mine at the Safeway;

I’m sure you thought you were looking ’sex-say’, but PLEASE have the courtesy to wear a long tunic or T-shirt to cover up your pink ass skin peeking out through the elastic fabric, the bumps and ripples on your thighs, cos girl, big jiggly thighs in white spandex brings thoughts of bratwurst links to mind. Oh, and thanks for that bonus, the dreaded camel-toe, yes for showing off the Pink Taco with a few escapee short and curlies poking through for good measure!! EW EW EW BIG EW!! (I just threw up a little in my mouth). It was like driving by the scene of an accident, you know you shouldn’t look but somehow you just can’t help it.

The only thing that got me through it was the guy behind me who’s expression was beyond funny. His eyes got all big as he looked over at you, looked at me to see if he caught my eye and then slowwwwly and every so slightly tilted his head in your direction several times while making that heaving mouth full of puke face that I’ve seen my boys make when things look gross.

Personally I have a big hate on for anyone is spandex anything outside of a gym, I don’t care if you’re Nicole Ritchie, please, put DOWN THE SPANDEX pants!!