WANTED… FED OR ALIVE

April 2, 2006


Breaking Story: Thief caught brown handed

April 2, 2006

WANTED: Chocolate Milk Thief

Height: Estimated to be 10 inches
Weight: 20 Lbs at LEAST
Eye colour: Blue
Gender: Male

Nutmeg busted drinking Sean's chocolate milk
Exclusive Surveillance Photos
Chocolate milk thief

If you see this suspect, approach with caution. It has yet to be determined if the milk will stay down. Suspect has a past history of woofing his cookies when he eats plastic or chews on other unnatural substances. It’s recommended that you wear some type of footwear until the danger has passed.

Sleeping off the chocolate milk hangover

Suspect was last seen wiping off his milk mustache and sleeping off his lactose hangover.

*note amount ingested was small before thief was stopped in his tracks, at first glance it was thought suspect was drinking water. Milk-leaver-outer was also lectured by the authorities and released on his own recognizance.*